Winners and Losers
Matthew Ryan Fischer
Allen was alone the night he won an award honoring him for years
of service. When he announced his retirement, people were kind, but didn’t have
a lot to say. He sat alone in a conference room, sipping a beer and poking his
fork into a goodbye cake. There were emergencies and excuses and many many
valid reasons for people to be late or to not show up at all.
Years earlier after changing companies, Allen tried to reach out
to an old friend for his former hospital. The cellphone rang and rang, but
there was a different voice when the message system picked up. He wondered what
had happened to his friend. Neither was very good with social media and Allen
had trouble finding and path or promising leads. Numbers change. People come
and go. He always wondered what happened.
Allen wanted to show his award to someone. He felt foolish. A doddering
old man with a favorite toy. It had been twenty years and he still caught
himself thinking he needed to tell his parents when something good happened.
There was no one left to tell.
He put the award on a shelf that was visible behind him of he had
an online video call. Embarrassed, he eventually moved it. He didn’t want to seem
to be bragging. But no one had called and no one had mentioned it. But he
couldn’t get the thought out of his head.
The award went into a box. Allen knew exactly where it was, but he
avoided taking it out.
He didn’t collect awards. But then again, he had never been given
many, so he didn’t really know if he would have collected them or not. He felt
silly thinking about it. He might have liked to have had more than one. He
might have been proud to have a shelf full.
He looked at his phone and thought about who he could call. The
phone stared back, silent.
Eventually he watched some television and went to bed early.
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