Sunday, January 8, 2023

Cats would make terrible assassins

Cats would make terrible assassins
Matthew Ryan Fischer
 

It was not uncommon to come home to find some level of disarray – a spilled bowl of cat food, or a magazine on the floor, or perhaps the flower pot turned over. Less common, but still common enough, I might walk through the door and find my cat staring, waiting. Rare to non-existent would be the category of having my pet looking me in the eyes, bags packed, ready to tell me how she had a new job and was leaving.
Who would train their cat to be a killer and why? They had to know that this would pretty much backfire, right? Such a fickle creature, how could they be trusted to complete such a delicate task?
I was polite and asked very delicately for additional details. My cat did not listen. Fearing for my life, I was in no position to stop her.
Where did she go? Is she out there killing people now, as we speak, and would I ever see her again? And if I did, would she be on my side or at a distance, sight aimed to strike?

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