Networking
Matthew Ryan Fischer
Joel quickly realized that he was
either at the wrong place, at the wrong time or there on the wrong day. The bar
was mostly empty aside from a few mid-afternoon drinkers who were very clearly
not dressed in semi-casual business attire. No networking event was happening at
this time at this place on this day.
Joel wasn’t sure, but he was pretty
sure that he was beginning to blush, out of embarrassment or frustration or
some combination. It had taken far too much energy and effort to convince
himself to go, to pick out decent clothing and to psyche himself up. He was
pretty sure everyone in the bar was looking at him. No one was looking at him.
Joel ordered tonic water with a lime. A
trick to make it appear that he was drinking alcohol when he really wasn’t.
Except that no one was here for the event so there was no one to trick. He
could have just left, but he had driven all the way and thought it waste to
spend an hour in the car each direction and not even stay in the place for more
than five minutes. Besides, maybe he was just really really early and more
people would arrive any minute. He was not early.
At some point Michelle had sat down at
the bar near enough to seem friendly and open to conversation, but far enough
away that neither was obligated to interact. Still, at some point, a
conversation had begun. And Joel’s tonic water turned into a vodka tonic, if
only so he didn’t have to admit to this woman what he was doing and why he was
doing it. He didn’t really try to drink it though. He had to drive at some
point and he was well past any age where it made sense to try to convince
himself to be anything other than responsible. She didn’t seem to notice. She
didn’t ask if she did.
Finally she had asked and he had to
answer that yes, he was here for a business event, and no, that event wasn’t actually
happen.
“I think I looked at the invite and
confused the 6th and thought it was the 8th. I flip that
around all the time with my brother’s birthday, so I probably just overthought
it. I don’t know why I’m telling you that last part.”
“What, that you’re bad with numbers or
bad with family?”
“Exactly. So what about you, you’re
not secretly into gap financing and also prone to misreading invitations?”
“You mean bridge loans? No. I’m here
for the tire and auto repair networking event.”
“Oh. Wow. So do you… Are you a
mechanic or a sales rep?”
“Because women don’t normally work in
auto repair?”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m a
jerk. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s okay, I’m actually an air-conditioning
mechanic.”
“I can’t tell if that’s a joke or not
and I really don’t want to keep making gender assumptions regarding workplace
stereotypes.”
“Joel you really do worry too much. I
can I’m going to have a lot of fun messing with you.”
“Oh is that right?”
“So far so good.”
Joel took a swig of his vodka tonic.
He decided he was going to stick around for a little while after all.
“Oh good,” Michelle said, “I was
worried you were doing some no-alcohol test of willpower type of thing.”
“You noticed that, did you?”
“I don’t mean to pry. I mean if you
have a problem I’ll try to be sympathetic.”
“I had been planning on leaving soon
and was trying to be responsible.”
“Oh how I love maturity. Look, if you’re
going to stay, I have to be honest with you. I am in sales. And I also have
problems with 6’s and 8’s. I was just fucking with you earlier. Sorry.”
“Now see, you’ve made this completely impossible
for me to tell if you’re being honest now or back then.”
“I know, it’s great, isn’t it? Order
another drink. You’ve got plenty of time to try and figure it out.”
Joel smiled and nodded and turned to
signal the bartender.
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