Day 111 - Lloyd

 Lloyd

Matthew Ryan Fischer

 

Bilocational theory posited that a person could exist simultaneously and live two separate lives, sort of like a human Schrödinger’s cat but with far more possibilities that life or death in a box. Bilocational theory didn’t concern itself with multiverse theory. One world was strange and peculiar enough, there was no need to invent parallel lives and parallel decisions constantly constructing additional worlds. It was unclear if a bilocational being was a doppelganger or clone of some sort with a physical body, or if it was a spirit or ghost or shadow of some sort. It was just theory after all. Some believed bilocation abilities coincided with the dawning of a new age of spirituality and had its ties in chakra or inherent psychic abilities awakening.

There had been studies. Agents traveled the world to interview and investigate supposed sightings of strange occurrence. What was needed was some way to map the entire world, simultaneously. All faces, all people, all at once. If you could see where everyone was, then the algorithms would quickly identify any duplicates. But the implication of such a system seemed impossible at current time. Without proper resources, without proper privacy constraints, any such system seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. Plus, no major government or company prescribed to Bilocational theory, so getting access was next to impossible for the theorists.

Lloyd learned long ago to keep his dreams to himself. He had been on and off drugs for most of his youth and seen a dozen or so different therapists and psychiatrists. Not one of them had believed him when he told them of his journeys. Some were more polite than others, but just like his family and friends, they all believed he had a series of hallucinations and what he saw as a different world was nothing but his mind playing tricks.

After a dozen years, Lloyd had begun to think they might be right. Travel to a different world as a child and teenager? It was the sort of thing out of fantasy novels and comic books. If it was real, then why did it start and why did it stop? If it was his mind, then the plethora of medicines might set things right. He had given it a whirl and been walking in a semi-low dose daze for almost half his life. If he was seen as a slacker or underachiever, he always had a good excuse. He was just so tired, all the time. There had once been a push to lower the dosage of this or that drug or switch from something to another, but he lost track of all that and just took what they gave him without asking too many questions.

But then recently the dreams had begun again. The dreams that felt like flying. The dreams that reminded him what it was like to actually live.

Lloyd hated waking up. It was almost too much to take. The dreams were so much better. He was free. He was who he wanted to be. It was the world. The world as he wanted it to be. The world he had seen when he was young.

Lloyd didn’t tell anyone about his dreams. He knew what they would say. He was afraid there would be more drugs and tests as well. So, he kept it to himself.

But Lloyd began skipping doses of his medicine. Not many at first. Just a pill here or there. Once or twice a week. He wanted to see if the dreams kept going, got stronger. He wanted to know that he wasn’t crazy and that there might actually be something out there.

The months passed and then there came a point that Lloyd missed checking in with his psychiatrist. And nothing happened. No one came looking for him, no EMTs kicked in his door to do a wellness check or drag him off to an institution. Nothing. Maybe bureaucracy moved slowly. Or maybe his psychiatrist didn’t care. Or maybe Lloyd was better off that he knew.

The world opened up. He was free. No one to watch him. No one to stop him. The pills would run out and then he would see. The other world was out there. Lloyd knew it was. He was going back. He was going home.