Day 116 - 40 days or more

 40 days or more

 Matthew Ryan Fischer

 

Jason didn’t call his father at first, not wanting to worry him, or so he told himself. Really, he was equal parts nervous and afraid, afraid he had disappointed his father by not coming home for his grandfather’s funeral. It had been the end of the semester and he had final projects to finish and tests to study for. Plus, he had always been more afraid of his grandfather growing up and it was hard to suddenly switch emotions. He was sure his father was upset, probably burying all sorts of emotions deep down, probably could use a son’s love. But Jason was barely any closer to his father than to his grandfather. He was thrilled when he was accepted to a university on the other side of the country so his parents wouldn’t be able to visit very often. The last year and half of high school had been exhausting; Jason had finished at an all time emotional low. Getting away had reinvigorated him and he was feeling like a new person, finally a fully grown man. If he went home, he was afraid he would not only be treated as a child, but he’d probably slip into the role far too easily. He had a good foundation going here, and didn’t want to ruin it.

Finals had been weeks ago though, and Jason still stayed in Oregon. He had found a summer job and was subletting an apartment. It was supposed to be a summer away, while picking up a credit or two with summer classes. Months ago, his parents had understood and even thought it was a good idea to get ahead. But the situation had changed and their grief made them more anxious for his return. The first weeks of summer additional phone calls and zoom chats had bridged the gap, but now the pressure was mounting, and if he wasn’t going to travel, they soon would be. It was an unwinnable situation, and emails and texts weren’t going to solve it. He was going to have to call sooner rather than later. And when he did, he had no clue how his father would react.

Nerves had gotten the better of his so far, but then the other thing had begun. The “other thing” he called it, because to name it would be to name his own madness. Jason’s grandfather had died suddenly while on a business trip, but when the dreams began, they were dreams in a hospital, where Jason watched his grandfather slowly fade away. In one dream, Jason had been forced to physically pull the plug on his grandfather. His dreams were somewhere between scenes from a movie, and worst-case end of life nightmare scenarios. He didn’t tell anyone, because they were just dreams. But as the days turned to weeks after his grandfather’s passing, the dreams turned into something more.

Jason began to see a man on campus that resembled his grandfather. Or a younger version of his grandfather. Sort of like the man he had seen in an old photo album. The man was often across the street or on the other side of the park, moving in a crowd, and just far enough away that Jason couldn’t catch up to him without running. Jason thought it was a strange coincidence at first and perhaps a sign of some stage of his own grief. His mind was playing tricks on him because he was carrying so much anxiety about having not go to the funeral.

As the days passed, Jason saw the man more and more on his path through campus, before and after him, somehow in later locations he wouldn’t have arrived at based on where he had been headed before. Jason thought he saw him in the reflections of windows, and would turn expect to see him across the street, only to see no one. Jason would catch these glimpses day or night.

Feeling silly at first, he told no one, but now that it happened too often, he was worried something else was wrong. Either ghosts were real and he was being haunted, or he was losing his mind from stress and grief he didn’t think he was actually feeling.

He owed his father a phone call. He owed him a lot including an apology. But he was afraid to make that call. Afraid of his father’s anger, but more afraid of the reaction if Jason told him what he had been seeing. Too many days kept passing, but Jason couldn’t figure out any suitable plan of action.

Then one night, Jason felt a presence in his apartment. At first, he feared there was a burglar, but when he saw the figure moving in the shadows, a different fear grew. Jason fled his apartment and ran across campus, but the shadows seemed to travel with him. Eyes, barely there, but watching. Figures he could almost discern. The shadow man was with him, step for step. What did the spirit want? What could he do to be free? Jason ran.

Jason ended up at a twenty-four-hour diner, drinking coffee, staring out the window at the shadows just beyond the parking lot. The figure was out there, he was sure of it, just beyond sight. Sunrise would be soon. He would call his parents. It was three hours later for them; they would be up. He would call his father and ask what to do. His father would answer, he was sure of it.